Until I read more about these things, western astrology and Jyotish felt like two separate worlds. One was enthusiastic, optimistic, not too harsh, all psychological makeup. Like grown ups telling kids everything is alright if they don’t win a competition and that everyone is special. Gets a bit silly at some point, because it emphasizes the idea that we’re all perfect gems, like the society we live in tells us. Jyotish on the other hand at first glance seems a lot more deterministic. Everything is material and earthy, fabric of reality and fatalism. It felt a bit unfair that they say you’re going to be that and that and that, and you family is this and that. What, I have no power to change things? Not. Fair.
But now, after a bit more Jyotish that earthy approach seems extremely psychological too, but just with real deep rooted traits. Karma is the fruits you reap, vasanas are the subtle seeds and psychological patterns. What we are is what we make happen outside. The difference is that not everything is pink, easily changeable. Our minds are fixed, plastic, reinforcing our own behavior all the time. We are automatic machines with a very narrow view of focus and awareness. And you can only change if you take a real hard look at yourself, without the pink glasses. And it’s fucked up hard. Like really hard.
I know what they say, Saturn is delay, restriction, anxiety, hard work, patience, time, stone, legacy. 11th house is hopes, gains, wishes, dreams, the people of the world.
The practical version would be that you leave some legacy, something that endures in time. Built with patience etc. there are blogs allover the internet for this. But, what I noticed about myself is that I identify with ideas and thoughts that are conducive of these outcomes. Personally, I hope I can leave something behind. I need somehow to leave something behind, and I would love it to be a better society. If I can’t do that, I can do things on a smaller scale. I would create something beautiful and useful to help people, create shortcuts and do things the proper way. I am afraid of time, afraid that I won’t get to do what I need to do here. I am also slow to prepare before I go all out into the world. Of course this causes delays, who would have guessed. But like the proverbial turtle, small and steps get you closer to the desired results. I will get there, someday. This way of thinking keeps anxiety at bay, just doing my thing and eventually things will happen. What is problematic is that such a slow big boulder, or a small slow turtle has a rough time getting through doors and changing of terrain. I need to think allover again, reconsider my route, things that are so hard and take so much time! My mind needs extra adjustments and time to recalculate, but it takes shortcuts made out of generalization, conceptualization and is not happy without seeing the bigger picture where all the pieces fit nicely. Don’t really care about how a piece looks like, I only care about the general image. Small details we can fix later. (saturn aspecting mercury in the 1st house Sagittarius.) I’m also anxious about myself, afraid of death, and mostly afraid of time, which is funny because it’s also my main interest.